Clever Euphemisms

Watch and learn what I mean.

All in

I’ll tell you what you did. You wagered that another human being might enjoy sharing your company in a different and emotionally intimate fashion. You worried that she might be in  the same kind of place you are. You made yourself vulnerable in the hope that she would recognize your truest potential. There was a moment where you could fold or bet it all 

You’re a ballsy son of a bitch. 

clackspoon:

Some say he prefers driving under the shade of many arrows
and that he is a regular diner…. in hell.
Silly little doodle to mark 300+ followers.

clackspoon:

Some say he prefers driving under the shade of many arrows

and that he is a regular diner…. in hell.

Silly little doodle to mark 300+ followers.

(via topgear)

"And what is the purpose of your visit to Kosovo?" I’m tempted to render a snide reply about human trafficking or Plutonium. I refrain.

"Funeral arrangements." And there it is. People always have the sane reaction. It’s like their face stumbles. The whole head stutters reflexively.

"My apologies and deepest condolences. Welcome to Kosovo." Right, ‘welcome’. Nobody comes to this shit hole of a country. The best thing that ever happened to it was when NATO cleaned out it’s Cold War deposits of air dropped ordinance. Whatever field wasn’t tilled with plastic explosive, had enough holes to qualify as a golf course. Who the hell willingly comes to this piss pot of a country?

They teach first responders to never remove an impaled object, because the blood gets blocked around it and it stops the bleeding. That’s what you are; an impaled object. This giant, jagged, hunk of hurt in my chest. 

And the worst thing I can do is get rid of you.

Villain

People wonder where we get our Muammar Gaddafis, our Pol Pots, and our Caligulas. I’m sure that plenty of our greatest deviants, rogues, and maniacs can be claimed by neuroses, syphilis, and general afflictions of the mind and body. I wonder how many just had their world turned on end. I want to know how many people just perceived that they were grossly wronged and sought recompense. Hitler was rejected from Art School. Caligula had a fucked up mother. When Josef Stalin’s wife died he essentially said that he was done and hated humanity. 

For me, there was woman.

topgear:

It’s here: the fastest-ever Range Rover

162mph, 542bhp Range Rover Sport SVR is really, really rapid. 0-62mph in 4.7 seconds, anyone?
As Land Rover has mentioned a few times recently, it has spent the last several months working on a range-topping, really-bloody fast version of the Range Rover Sport. This is it. It’s called the Range Rover SVR, and it’s the fastest production Land Rover… in the world.
How fast? 542bhp, 502lb ft and 162mph fast, that’s how. And such is the fashion these days, LR has thrown this two-tonne megabomb around the Nürburgring, thus giving James May a mild aneurism.
This SVR pumped around the Green Hell in eight minutes and 14 seconds, making it faster than - if you believe in such fairytale times at the ‘Ring - the Lexus IS-F, original Honda NSX and as quick as a Merc C63 AMG. [x]

topgear:

It’s here: the fastest-ever Range Rover

162mph, 542bhp Range Rover Sport SVR is really, really rapid. 0-62mph in 4.7 seconds, anyone?

As Land Rover has mentioned a few times recently, it has spent the last several months working on a range-topping, really-bloody fast version of the Range Rover Sport. This is it. It’s called the Range Rover SVR, and it’s the fastest production Land Rover… in the world.

How fast? 542bhp, 502lb ft and 162mph fast, that’s how. And such is the fashion these days, LR has thrown this two-tonne megabomb around the Nürburgring, thus giving James May a mild aneurism.

This SVR pumped around the Green Hell in eight minutes and 14 seconds, making it faster than - if you believe in such fairytale times at the ‘Ring - the Lexus IS-F, original Honda NSX and as quick as a Merc C63 AMG. [x]